.



Funny how families have their own quirky ways- we always sang it
as, "O Little Town of Jesusham." As a child I thought it sounded
like the most delicious town in the whole wide world. I know that
this Spring I will look across our sloping hillside and ask myself,
"What would Jesus mow?"Hmmm??? isn't that number 23 on the side of the J-mow? From Wikipedia:



"The "23 Enigma" refers to the belief that all incidents and
events are directly connected to the number 23, some permutation
of the number 23, or a number related to the number 23, given enough
ingenuity on the part of the interpreter.



Unusual circumstances being linked to 23 are mentioned by William S. Burroughs.
He tells the story of meeting a ferry captain named Clark who claimed to have
sailed the same route without an accident for 23 years. That very day, however,
the ferry sank, killing all aboard. Later that day, Burroughs writes, he was
thinking about Clark's ferry accident when he heard that a Flight 23 on a New
York-Miami route had crashed. According to Burroughs, the pilot's name for the
flight had also been Clark. Burroughs began collecting incidences of the number
23 in a scrapbook and referred to them in his writings."


Perhaps he's mowing everybody's eggs, eh?



Clark Cant

.



So, when Time Traveling Jesus goes back to the near past is it really his future
because he didn't live very long? Or was he reborn enough that the past is all stages
of his present because he lives through everything and is everywhere at all
times, like in your heart, etcetera? I am afraid I am revealing gaps in my
education. I understand that he can take present day equipment, like an e-z
riding Husqvarna with heated seat, back to the apex of the Inca Empire, but
where would his head be at, I wonder?
 
And speaking of Jesusham, I can still remember my parents telling me to check
my misbehavior and remember that Jesus suffered a thousand spiral cuts for me.
Which I never really understood either.



Inca Dincadoo

.



Mmmm??? an ice cold glass of Santus milk would go good about now.
I wanted you to know that I just got the lights up on the front
porch and Blinky,the 1950s blinking blue bulb, fired right up and
is on his merry way. Praise be to Jesanta!



Hal Lowedevent

.



Taylor, theft is the sincerest foam of mattressy.



"White Jesus"The Son is shining, the grass is chronic 
The orange and palm trees sway 
There's never been such a day 
In Barstow or LA 
But it's December the 24th 
And I pray for peace of course



I'm dreaming of a white Jesus
Just like the one I used to know.
Whose kind eyes glisten,
As children listen
Their little minds, Jesus likes to blow.



I'm dreaming of a white Jesus
With every blog post that I write.
May your days be slightly uptight.
And may all your Jesuses be white.



I'm dreaming of a white Jesus
With every blog post that I write.
May your days be slightly uptight.
And may all your Jesuses be white.



Bang Crossby

.



My throat's a little scratchy this morning??? we put up the
tree last night and I think I picked up a touch of tinselitis.
You know the joke is bad when the Little Drummer Boy gives you
a rim shot. I didn't mean for that to sound inappropriate but somehow
it just does.



Frisco Santa

.



It is Friday and I too have been showering.



JESUS BELLS



Hanging from the cross
itís an impressive display,
Overblown we know,
but thatís just his way;
Bells on Jesus ring,
it doesnít seem quite right,
What fun it is to wail and sing
A Jesus song tonight



Oh, Jesus bells, Jesus bells,
deceptively gay
what fun it is to close your eyes
On crucifixion day!



A day or two ago,
I thought I'd take a bride,
but soon Miss Fanny Bright
convinced me otherwise;
Jesus was lean and lank;
Misfortune seemed his lot;
He worked out of a moral bind,
then saved is what we got!



Oh, Jesus bells, Jesus bells,
deceptively gay
what fun it is to close your eyes
On crucifixion day!



A day or two ago,
the story I must tell
I went out on the snow
And on my back I fell;
Jesus was riding by
In a one-horse open sleigh,
He laughed as there
I sprawling lie,
he mentioned karma and drove away.



Oh, Jesus bells, Jesus bells,
deceptively gay
what fun it is to close your eyes
On crucifixion day!



Now Jesus he is white
and mischievously young,
He says take the girls tonight
and sing this Jesus song;
Just get a bob-tailed bay
whatever the hell that is,
Hitch him to an open sleigh
and run some suckers down!



Oh, Jesus bells, Jesus bells,
deceptively gay
what fun it is to close your eyes
On crucifixion day!



Andy Wentahel

.



I hate to be the 24th post but Len's last song got me to humming???



I'll Be Home For Jesus



I'll be home for Jesus
he can count on me
we'll have blow, and mistletoe
and peasants under the tree



Jesus-time will find me
where the Son's light gleams
I'll be home for Jesus
if only in my special Jesusy dream???



(ethereal harp music segues into The Jesusmas Song)



Jeezenuts roasting on an open fire
Holyghost nipping at my Grolsch
middle-aged divorcees with their eyes all aglow
will make it hard to sleep tonight



They know Jesanta's on his way
he's loaded on the scotch
the ghost had stashed mid-sleigh
and every former wife
is gonna try, to see if
reindeer really go 
one mile high



And so I'm offering this simple phrase
to babes forty to sixty-two
although it's been said
many times in bad ways
marry Jesus, please do.



(ding, ding, ding, etc.)



Don O. Wentaquit

.



Oh, Jeeeze! Cheer me up, why don't ya? I'm goin' to Hell! I wonder
if logs on the fire effect Jesus the same way that they do Karen
Carpenter. Frosty the Redneck, liked to drink his cans of beer???
Did you hear about the man who got arrested trying to shoplift a calendar
for a Jesusmas present? He got 12 months.



Please tip over your waitresses.



Lowe Elfesteem

.



I just took a stroll back through Beelzebub's songbook
and I couldn't help but think of how much fun it would be
to gather together a group of right-minded individuals
(every woman, child and man???and lesser god) and go caroling!
Picture us, huddled together outside Dick Cheney's purported
gate, only a mile from his front door, leaning into a
close, five-part harmony on Robert's "Blue Jesus."(Who's that hitting those contrabass notes?)



Now that would be living.



Mitch Muller

Jesus night, holy night
Where's your badge? He's all right
Mary's agent is calling ahead
Ask craft service for unleavened bread
Christ, our savior is late
Christ, our savior is late

Jesus night, holy night
Check-in desk to your right
Non-transferable, that's what I said
"Friends of Wise Men" don't cut it for cred
Here's their limo, stand by
Here's their limo, stand by

Jesus night, holy night
They look great in this light
Round yon virgin, Joseph and J.
Paparazzi are clicking away
Jesus! Look over here!
Jesus, look over here

.



I'm no Holywood insider but, God, I know poignant and beautiful when
I hear it and that is poignant and beautiful! Of course, for some of
us, Jesusmas has a darker side???



Jesus We Have Heard While High



Jesus we have heard while high, 
Canít tell screaming from a sigh, 
And the mountains in reply 
Echoing ìyouíre going to die.î 



Pa-aranoia, Pa-aranoia, in excessive De-e-egree. 
 
Shepherds, whereíd you get this shit? 
Why canít I get over it? 
Whatís it take to come back down? 
Iím flying lying on the ground.  



Pa-aranoia, Pa-aranoia, in excessive De-e-egree.



Come to the hot tub to relax 
And jump right in without your slacks; 
Now youíre unwinding for your life 
Hearing Christ, the Lord, and Barney Fife



Pa-aranoia, Pa-aranoia, in excessive De-e-egree.



Just like in a manger, laid
Pimp shepherd's back and must be paid,
Mary, Joseph, please chip in
That shepherd's got a nasty grin???



Pa-aranoia, Pa-aranoia, in excessive De-e-egree.




Christian Tarantino